Total Pageviews

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Things I Hate

I've been composing this list for the last couple months (whenever something happened that just made me shake my head and roll my eyes, I'd update my little list you'll find below) - and today, for whatever reason, I'm feeling particularly cantankerous...I've just been sort of annoyed - so maybe venting this out and hopefully providing a few smiles along the way will make me feel a bit better. HERE WE GO.......

When you take a drink of soda, but before you swallow you have to burp - which then results in you having to save the soda in your mouth and let your body burp through your nose...and it BURNS like crazy because of the soda you have in your mouth. Ugh. Awful.

When you discover you have popcorn in your teeth after eating some the night before...and even though you brushed your teeth, it's still stuck in there. And then it's all you can think about. And then you finally get it out and celebrate - and then feel judged for having food stuck in your teeth for 8+ hours - and then you're all like "Right, like this has never happened to you!" (Tell me this happens to someone else!!!)

When you think you have found a great parking spot, but when you go to pull in there's the teeniest, tiniest little clown car looking, stupid "green" vehicle. You're not a car! You don't deserve to be called a car! Get out of that parking space - why are you even at Wal-Mart? There is absolutely no room for any groceries! Go home!

People that walk REALLY slowly in groups 4-5 people wide so it's IMPOSSIBLE to go around them. They dilly and dally and shuffle their feet as they walk and as soon as you FINALLY get past them, they're all offended like you're totally rude. Wrong. You are totally rude. You and your slow moving posse have got to go.

{Deep breath because this is a long one...}
When parents pretend not to notice their children are bratty, screaming and throwing a fit in the grocery store. They're usually sitting in the back of the shopping cart (or "buggy" as my husband would say) because they refuse to walk at 9 years old. They are typically throwing a fit because they wanted to get 4 new toys but their parents has set the limit at 3 (gasp!) and the reasoning goes something like this..."Baby, if you're not going to be good, you're not going to get any of those toys. Maybe MeeMaw will come back and get you those other ones you want, but not unless you stop that screaming. We'll grab you some candy at check out. Ok? Now stop crying for mommy please." Then the child/children continue to scream, dry heave, cry and be completely annoying and the parents just stop noticing. How can you not notice that? You should be both embarrassed and ashamed of yourself. And I also want your grocery shopping schedule so I never have to shop in a store with you ever again.

People who feel the need to tell you that whatever you are currently eating or drinking (Diet Coke, McDonald's chicken nuggets, hot dogs, splenda) is going to give you cancer. But they're not telling you in a "I'm really concerned for you" way, it's more like a "I'm superior to you and obviously know things that you don't." You know what - YOU'RE WRONG! Just because you found some idiot on the internet who says so doesn't make it true. No one's forcing you to drink Diet Coke, so keep it to yourself. Also - I'm pretty sure the majority of people in this country grew up eating hot dogs and Chicken McNuggets, YOURSELF INCLUDED, so if now all of a sudden you're too good for it - whatever. I'll still eat them. They're delicious.

That also leads me perfectly into the people who follow every "health craze" the internet has to offer. You know the ones - if they found a blog stating that eating discarded toenail clippings would help boost their immune system they'd rush to the bathroom trash can to see what they could dig up. They're also usually the ones who are always sick, children are always sick - and yet they have the nerve to tell you that what you're doing (like the crazy Diet Coke people mentioned above) is unhealthy. Excuse me? How many times have you rushed your snotty-nosed kids to urgent care in the last month? Me? I have NEVER taken my kid to the doctor unless it was scheduled. You want to know why? 1) Because I don't freak out every time he sneezes and 2) Because he rarely gets sick! I guess there must be something to letting your kids eat those hot dogs, huh?

So - anything annoying you? What do you hate?
I love it when someone starts ranting about something and I have the exact same feeling - like a unique sisterhood (or siblinghood, maybe that fits better).


Cassie said...

i hate people who talk on their cell phone while they are checking out at a store. drives me batty! they are NOT paying attention, flat out rude and everyone is in fact starring at them.

do you watch ellen? the other day amy poehler was on there and they were talking about in a few years there will be an app called icontact. and when you click on the app all it says is, look up.
bahahahaha. yes, perfect! lol.

Julia said...

I agree with every one of these!! I knew there was a reason we got along so good in school;) I just experienced the "screaming child" one the other day, but it was at Urgent Care. UGH!!!! Get your face out of that magazine and control your children who are crawling under my chair and meowing like a cat!!!!

Beth said...

Cassie - I think we're just supposed to be friends against all odds or something. And I don't watch Ellen, but that reminds me of another "hate" ... when people pull out their smart phone/device every 5 seconds to show it off - um, yea, I know...they do incredible things. They've also been on the market for a few years now, so simmer down.

Nomar- ugh~dealing with the screaming kid while dealing with urgent care sounds absolutely tragic. How awful for you!!! Get your kid on a leash and keep his germs over there with you! :)